Meet the Girls, Barbara is the nicest one

Many ideas will change how you think. A few of them may even simplify your thought process. And fewer will change how you act. Study the good ones that make you act swiftly, like Taoism. Because that is all that matters. What you DO.

I went to college and studied Philosophy. I did it so I could outsmart my way out of hard work. Truthfully, I had no work ethic in college. It was a huge spring break to me. A big socializing activity, where people feign doing things with purpose, but they are there to take value from others (or hook up). Kind of like church.

But Philosophy revolutionized my thought process. Anyone who knows me will roll their eyes and tell you about my penchant for useless facts about Samurai daily living to the most elegant theories of Space and Time. Philosophy taught me how to appreciate ideas and be enthusiastic about passing them onto others. But that's all they are. Ideas.

I graduate in 2007, real-life hits. I have no real skills or motivation to contribute anything to society. Taking value and sustaining my sheltered life is my first and only priority. I party like a motherfucker to drown out the suffocating feeling of escaping responsibility. I lack spiritual substance. I am a true American.

During this time I take up the activity of improving my vanity, also known as "exercise". Notice I didn't say "working out." Exercise literally means "to use." You exercise enough to "tone", or "maintain." I decide I want to be ridiculously strong like Bruce Lee. Come 2008, I find Sandbags, Sledgehammers, and Salvation. Then I watch the movie 300 and find out the Spartans with 8-packs are for real. I find out it's because they all did CrossFit.

CrossFit redefined what it means to "work out." To me, working out is spiritual problem-solving. When I have an issue, my barbell is my therapist. When I need an ear to listen to my bitching, the pull-up bar is always there. It is literally the act of self-respect. And when you start your workout, you meet the girls (Fran, Cindy, Angie) and enter the Storm. And you walk right up into the rain and say, "Fuck you, my old friend." You finally free the manimal that has been waiting all your adult-life to come out. You understand Desire itself and how to channel it. You shift into the 6th gear you never knew you had. There is nobody to tell you "SLOW DOWN." On the road of life, you make your own speed limit.

Crossfit makes me act. It has taught me to be aggressive about what I want out of my life. With each Clean & Jerk and burpee, I strip one layer of bullshit away. For 24 years of my life, I was a wreck. Until I found CrossFit. Fuck trying to look cool. I check my ego in right when I start my warm-up (which is probably your entire workout). I yell like I'm mid-climax during my workouts. On a good day, even my ankles sweat.

CrossFit will change you. It will elevate you. You become a completely different person. YOU ARE ALIVE. It's spiritual because it teaches you energy transfer. Everything has a price. You put in effort and your body rewards you with a fuckload of endorphins. That's also called happiness. That beats any drugs or alcohol.

When things suck in life, a CrossFit workout will suck more. It will make you comfortable about being "uncomfortable" during exercise. You probably guessed that already has many benefits in real life. Everything stupid or wrong in the world suddenly becomes a whisper. It's like selective hearing, but with life's terrible moments. And best of all, you learn how to fight and make decisions.. Because in nature, you either fight or flee. But when you freeze in indecision, that's when you start to regret things.

The feeling of a CrossFit workout is probably equal to this:

Imagine the thrill a squirrel gets by darting out into the road near oncoming cars. But the cars are BART trains coming at him a 1000 MPH, on fire.


The best product is the one the salesman buys. Anybody is free to ride on my boat, I go towards the storm on the daily. It's time for you to climb aboard and say, "FUCK YOU, my old friend."

Meet:


From now on, I will do my best to hold an introductory workout on Sundays at the College of San Mateo, around 1-2 pm.