Shields and High-Yields

I read PUA (Pick-Up Artist) books regularly. Their material is good shit. Here's one concept that stuck with me, from Tyler Durden's "Digest" of online discussions:


High-Yield Thought Process: Maximum gains from minimal experience. "What can I learn from this?"

This seems like common sense. But let's look at it through the lens of an AFC male, or "Average Frustrated Chump". I'll be the first to admit I've been an AFC for a long time. I don't "get" many girls and I "don't get girls". So they key here is to understand why I am frustrated and to study the patterns of the opposite sex a little closer.

It is crucial to note that a man constructs who he is, actively or passively, but it is always a choice. If he wants to be an athletic, outgoing, and desirable individual he must adopt those characteristics. He is not born with them. But we only have so much room in our personality. Before we can change we have to discard the bullshit first, the "stuff that doesn't work". We have mental shields that provide tons of excuses for preserving our ego. The easy assessment for me is: "leave the nice guy routine".

It's safe to say most males view women as gentle creatures who need nurturing all of the time and should be saved from the "bad boys". Quite the opposite, chaps. Females are trained to be fierce warriors in the social battlefield from an early age. They know exactly what face to put on at almost any given time. It's fucking uncanny, really. It's men who actually need protection from the truth. The truth that we are inadequate.

I think many (mostly women) will wholeheartedly agree that modern males lack an essential skill for survival, biologically and socially. The skill of attraction. A skill, is an ability to do something well after lots of practice. It's not innate to most guys. I won't even mention the guys who are attractive naturally. I hear it all the time from women. "Why are guys so lame?" or "Does he not get the clue?". Girls are right, we don't fucking get it. They need to teach this shit in school, but they don't. It's a lose-lose situation for both sexes. Two things you can do here guys: continue reading or make the same excuses I made forever.

It's not right to sleep around, feelings will get hurt. Women aren't objects. Men are just naturally hornier than women. Guys who get the females are more accomplished than I am, but just wait until I come up!

These are the honest truths that stop me from being a male slut. And for good reason, I don't want to be a slut. I am terrible at juggling multiple women because I am a specialist. And I never have juggled women. Attention is a very precious thing to give out, and only select women deserve it from me. But the biggest excuse that trumps all is:

I don't feel I deserve to have a good woman.

That is the bottom-line gentlemen. Confidence. We lack it and the situation's not going to fix itself. Tyler Durden (both the PUA and Brad Pitt) have a lot of good input. We do not go after what we want in life because we lack Core Confidence. The most common example is the "bad boy" image. Less common is the light-hearted "joker". The strong-silent type. But they all have one streamlining belief. I deserve everything I have and more. "Core confidence" is independent of the context and can come in many forms. It is the belief that as a person you are important and deserve the most out of your life by trying your best. It is not affected by your environment because YOU affect the environment with your very presence.

You can't fake the funk though. Like I said, women are fierce social creatures and smell bullshit from a mile away. They are also very keen on who has their shit together. Even if they don't want to mate with him females will admit when a guy has positive qualities. Guys generally lump women into two categories, hot or not. Personality is secondary to physical attractiveness. It's inversely related for women. When you are attracting a woman you are essentially selling your personality through body language and subconscious gestures. That explains why physically unattractive men can miraculously end up with a hottie (see David Spade and Heather Locklear)

My Uncle Steve gave me some wisdom a few months ago. He told me, "hers is useless and so is yours if you don't put 'em together." He also told me, "he who strikes first, strikes best." We were on a cruise to the Caribbean with a boatload of gorgeous women (some of questionable age). He gave me the breakdown of why I just have to go for it. Thinking takes time and allows you to psyche yourself out. You just gotta trust that you're a worthy male specimen and let your subconscious take care of the rest. But unfortunately, most of us are not the best speciman we possibly can be. But we don't have to stay that way. Study social dynamics everywhere and anytime.

If you don't have your shit together, start getting it together NOW. Dress neater, shower regularly, make manners habitual and not a show, do everything with intensity, and above all have compassion for others (especially women). Don't treat them like kittens and stop trying to sexually manhandle them. They choose who to mate with, not you. If you truly believe you are a worthy mate it will shine through every gesture you make and word you utter. Make yourself sexually receptive, not aggressive. But do NOT tolerate the bullshit of disheartened and clever females.

Women want to have fun in relationships just as much as men. But Beta-males fucked it up good for us all. All these social restrictions on a women's sexuality were constructed by men who refused to do the hard work of courting a woman. He wanted sex at the drop of a dime so he invented monogamy. But I'm not here to argue for/against monogamy. It exists and is a barrier that must be acknowledged. A man must be able to convey discreetness, that he knows if he has sex with a girl to be quiet about it. Women already have to do a lot just to get laid, they don't want to change all the rules. They just want some good clean fun, and more than likely romance!

It took tremendous mental effort for me to realize the rules of the game. They have always been there and I finally acknowledged them. It doesn't mean I subscribe to them. I personally am not looking to sleep around. But what interests me is the process of attraction, friends or mates. But the first step to being attractive is to be proud of yourself.

So let each interaction you have with a person be a high-yield lesson. Study yourself when you interact with other people. Study and then point out your weakness. Practice often and not just with attractive women. Learn a lot from only one example and your gains will be astronomical.

You here it everywhere. "Confidence is key." If you want to know what confidence is, try:

The Blueprint

It's hard out there, do work son.

Sandbags, Sledgehammers, and Salvation.

"Always be yourself, express yourself, have faith in yourself, do not go out and look for a successful personality and duplicate it."

-Bruce Lee

That's kind of ironic coming from one of my heroes. I have taken the wisdom that Bruce has left and transformed my own life through his teachings. It was his belief that honest self-expression was one of the main tenets of being a true human being. To live with every nerve in your body exposed to the emotions that come with everything we do.

When I think of all the things I've accomplished, it boils down to one thing. I decided to do it and not sweat the small things. This includes giving up. We all have a choice to be passive, idle, observant, and distant. I’ll be the first to admit that I’ve been passive most of my life. This is also the story for countless people who are afraid to be honest about what they expect of themselves and from life.

What keeps me honest? Everything I do. I have to answer to my conscience every second of my life. Going to the limit tells me what kind of person I am. Standing at the edge of my mind, where nobody else can help me except ME. The smallest inkling inside of my heart that tells me how much I want something, against the burning sensation where all the pain could end if I just said, "I give in." Yes, I’m talking about when I exercise. And no, I do not mean the ego-stroking people do at the gym.

Sometime in a man’s life, he will encounter a heavy object he wishes to lift or something he is compelled to strike with his fist. It requires every ounce of strength and concentration he possesses to accomplish this task. His body and mind are occupied by the trauma he is putting himself through by recruiting every single muscle in his body. Nothing else matters but the task at hand. He will make beastly noises, grit his teeth so hard you can hear them grind, and see amazing things happen when honest effort is put forth. Real training and exercise should HURT. If you want progress there is no time to read a fucking magazine or yap at your neighbor. Mirrors will do nothing except ruin your concentration. If you got suckered into a gym membership, what I am going to say will probably not appeal to you or simply make you angry.

In January of this year, I could only do 2 genuine pull-ups. That means palms faced outward and my chin passed the top of the bar. I looked like I was taking a shit when I did them. I can now do over 17 strict pull-ups while reciting my favorite poem. Am I boasting? Perhaps. But the intent is to show you that anything is possible because you are willing to put in an honest effort. I am a human being and am capable of the same good or evil that you are. I am nothing special. I am not a unique snowflake. I simply decided that mediocrity was not for me anymore. I wanted to be superior to my old-self.

To those who know me best, I can be a nervous wreck sometimes. I am not always on my best behavior or trying my hardest when I should. But it’s not an excuse I make up because I suffer when I act normal or mediocre. The sense of urgency to not waste my time is always punching me in the face. But I don’t just think about myself. I always try to figure out what others can do better. Why? Because I expect them to keep me on my toes. I welcome, and even crave criticism. The way I see it, every breath is a new opportunity for me to change something. I hope that whoever reads this benefits from my reflections and does something positive with his or her life. And one day if I see you, I hope to see that fiery glare in your eyes. The gaze that comes with a robust sense of knowing who YOU really are.

Perhaps you’ll see me swinging my sledgehammer or tossing my odd-looking sandbags. The one thing you won’t find me doing is reading a magazine or talking to my neighbor on the treadmill. I’ll be out on a playground or grassy-field looking like a lunatic. That’s how I search for the real thing. That sense of salvation I relish because I gave 100% and endured the feeling where I wished I wasn’t born. But it’s only a temporary feeling. The pain is good medicine because it is the price I pay for the truth about myself. I have reached a limit but will not remain there for long. I have not only trained my muscles and nerves, but I have burned into my spirit a new sense of self-worth.

Why is the “truth” so important? Because it’s a rare thing to find. I see countless people traipsing through their lives, conjuring up excuses to not fulfill their wishes. And yet, I see lots of people who are honest. These are the people who are not afraid to make mistakes. Don't be afraid to fuck up and make some people feel uncomfortable. Fuck everyone else’s expectations of you. They are merely projections and supplications for what they themselves are unwilling to try. It’s a mistake until you admit that you were wrong, after that it becomes a good lesson. The longing in your mind to see the outcome of your goal has passed and you are now a little wiser, and even more humbled. You realize that it’s a long road ahead, but you are walking with your chin up a little higher and the destination seems to matter less each day.

So be honest about your physical limits. If you can only do one push-up, so be it. If it takes you 1 hour to run a mile, who fucking cares? At least you had the guts to measure yourself. Every person should know their limits because they are always there. In the end they will haunt you when you reflect on your stale and misused life. It is simply a choice of surpassing them. Leave them far behind in the old-self you’ve been meaning to break-up with. Take that chance and become somebody new. Don’t be afraid to be display your emotions. Let the anger of failure pass through you, and relish the momentary joy of true accomplishment. Do not be bashful about what you truly want, but be patient and calculating about your goals. Accept who you are right now and suddenly, your life becomes the most beautiful gift. There is nothing more original than your own honest perspective. The position you occupy in time and space is yours, and yours only. That is both the source of loneliness and true identity, the paradox of life. But to truly be yourself means that nobody can ever take anything valuable from you. Your memories, dreams, and feelings are untouchable.

Waking Up

"In the words of the ancients, one should make his decision within the space of seven breaths. It is a matter of being determined and having the spirit to break through to the other side."

-Yamamoto Tsunetomo , Hagakure

There are only three steadfast things in life. Change, paradox, and humor. My life begins anew every moment, with every breath. We have lots of decisions to make and should be swift in our deliberation. The less you try to figure out life's mysteries and just go with it, you can laugh easily and more often. The harder you fight change and trying to solve life's riddles, you essentially try to halt the metaphorical river that is life. This will make you sour and unhappy. I'll tell you from 24 years of my life that the minute I stopped calculating my life, that is when I began to truly live.

"It is a good viewpoint to see the world as a dream. When you have something like a nightmare, you will wake up and tell yourself that it was only a dream. It is said that the world we live in is not a bit different from this."

- Hagakure

I am an undying optimist. I truly believe that it is possible for every person to awake from the trance they are in. By trance I mean the illusions that convince a person they are not capable of this or that. Often times these are merely excuses and not genuine obstacles. It is perfectly fine to be frightened of what we might see when we finally wake up and encounter our existence. But the sensation of truly being alive is infinitely better than the stale emotional cycles we often trap ourselves into. I'm talking about inner freedom.

The most common case of these harmful cycles I see are unhealthy relationships. To me a relationship should be about two independent beings playfully enjoying and benefitting from each other's company. If one were to leave the relationship, both would be thankful for the time they spent together. But I see romantic couples bickering over stupid shit that subtly says to me one mate is only waiting for the other to save them. That love is the missing puzzle piece in their life. They believe the emotional cycle of fighting, breaking up, and rejoining is healthy, when in reality it is just comfortable and predictable. They create an artificial "drama" to simulate true change and development in their relationship.

We all have excuses for not fulfilling our potential. Deep down we know that we are trapped and are just too lazy to find the bars of our cage. Perhaps this generation has been wrongfully taught that efficiency and quickness is a virtue and have little capacity for dealing with frustration. Patience is inversely related to efficiency. The less time it takes for us to microwave our dinner, the more impatient we become. Yes, I'm guilty of this too.

Make the decision to live. It's not written anywhere that we must choose to live our lives. We can sit back and let other forces govern it for us. That is a legitimate and very common occurence. You fall in line with what people expect of you while ignoring your true expectations of yourself. And you suffer for this from the anxiety. You have seven breaths to choose to wake up and go out there and live. Live with every nerve exposed.

There is overwhelming beauty in our daily lives. The mundane tasks we often hurry through contain a lot of wisdom and can tell us much about ourselves. But I'm not here to tell you what I do in my boring life. This blog is a place where I simply offer the fruits that grow from my tree of knowledge. It is for people to take advantage of just as I do whenever I have a good conversation. I learn and then learn some more. I am a motherfucking learning machine. I crave frustration deep down because it is a chance for me to become better. I try to do something new everyday and interpret the same things in a different way. It keeps my perspective fresh. As the saying goes, "you never step in the same river twice."