Goethe wrote about this extensively: the difference between a discussion and a conversation. The former is based on intellectual topics and tends to lead to separateness. The latter tends to be something unified and the things said are always from the heart. So why is this important?
Most people are okay with surface talk. Perhaps it is the only reason I still have friends, but I rarely have discussions anymore. I used to in college back when I studied Philosophy. I thought I was the shit because I could inhale tons of complicated words and throw them out randomly to appear as if I had knowledge. How wrong I was. But that's typical college Philosopher behavior. But if you know me well at all, I dig deep. I ask you what has been ailing your soul and where you are headed in life. I ask about the burning questions I have in my own life because I am just as frightened as you are. I don't care about the minute details of your life. I care about your soul. And that is what a true friend knows: when to stop discussing and when to start conversing.
Ever notice how we reach the "tender" topics of life when it's dark? When I drive in a car at night with a passenger, the best conversations happen with me. That person has no reason to be shy. They have no judging eyes to answer to and for some reason, moving forward lets us think clearly. Life is motion. Walk and talk as often as you can because it will solidify any relationship you have. I guarantee it. It's like the reagent that makes liquid epoxy turn rock solid.
If a person doesn't have conversations then he/she is missing out on the most crucial phase of human evolution. Have you ever noticed you don't really know what you believe until you say it aloud? That's always rung true for me. Having conversations allows us to progress from having truths revealed to us from the wiser to discovering truths by one's own activities.
Having a conversation does not imply having an answer. Sometimes the answer to your question is to let go of it for a while. Let the deeper realms of your subconscious mind do the mental math (that's why sleep is important, more on that later). Feelings and the tension built up in your mind needs to be released. The only other place it can go is your body. And that's no good at all.
I'm not a religious person, but I am extremely spiritual. But I even hate admitting that out loud just because of the connotation "spiritual" has. When I hear "spiritual" I just cringe and think of white fluffy shit and high-horse people judging my mistakes and odd beliefs. I think of Yoga too. But conversations are the closest thing I have to spirituality. I tend to not just think, but feel the vast array of emotions people in my life are going through. I feel connected and belong when I know someone admits they are not okay. Because the second you admit you are not doing well is when things pick-up again. It is one of life's most fruitful paradoxes, so I suggest you get used to it.
Every moment in life is a test, whether we choose to acknowledge it or not. A discussion will help bring you to a logical answer to a logical question. But that is not life. The nature of the beast is always changing (which incidentally leads me to believe life is female). Conversations are about dealing with the changes. The life worth living is always felt, not thought. And so how you make other people is purely a reflection of your own circumstance in life. People who think like shit, feel like shit, will usually displace that glorious state of mind onto others.
Want to be a hero and save the world? Have a conversation. But end it when it starts to get weird. Like if say, Lady Gaga somehow becomes the metaphor for the non-duality of sexual energy.
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